![]() Penny: Get out of my bed room! The Kerkovich Way Party of Six Max: You know what I was thinking about? If Mary Tyler Moore married and then divorced Steven Tyler, then married and divorced Michael Moore, then got into a three-way lesbian marriage with Demi Moore and Mandy Moore, would she go by the name Mary Tyler Moore Tyler Moore Moore Moore? Hm. Avi: Please, don't touch me! I'll explode like a water bottle on a cross country flight to Albuquerque. But jealousy is not a sweat pant that fits you well. Penny: Are you sure that's a choice, Avi? Avi: Good dig. I'm only eating clear foods, and I've given up all sexual intimacies. Alex: Turns out we're both into cleanses. Look who I ran into at my new favorite vegan eatery "Café Thankful". Valentine’s Day Maxssacre Everybody Loves Grant The Butterfly Effect Effect Cocktails & Dreams Alex: Hello filthies. An intervention? It's like having a surprise party for someone that's going to hate you. Grinches Be Crazy The Shrink, The Dare, Her Date And Her Brother Meet the Parrots Makin' Changes! Alex: Woo! I'm so excited. Penny: Okay, so someone else will be crafting your opening remarks. They are like the breast cancer of animal charities. Jane: "Animals for Change" helps to protect endangered species. Are you trying to genetically modify animals? Brad: I want a teacup rhino. ![]() The Code War Full Court Dress Penny: I don't even understand what you're raising money for. Spooky Endings Lying Around Dave: Have you ever felt like the Big Mac wasn't big enough? Or the foot long wasn't feet long enough? Well, have no fear, ladies and gentlemen, and feast your eyes upon steaktanic! Two pounds of meat. Max: I'm sorry, I like to call celebrities by the name they prefer: Bobby De Niro, Sandy Bullock, Eddie Jimmy Olmos. Secrets and Limos Max: You guys watching Marty's show, Boardwalk Empire? Jane: Marty? Max: Marty Scorsese. It's a lot of looking right through other parts of the museum. We are called the Window City because of our famous Window Museum. We are from Omaha, and that is a true fact. Chicago was originally nicknamed the Window City, but another city had that nickname first, so, thanks a lot, Omaha! Tourist: Really? That doesn't sound right. Penny: Oh, my God! When I get drunk, I speak Italian! Alex: Oh, my God! When I get drunk, I eat ribs! Of Mice & Jazz-Kwon-Do Dave of the Dead The Girl with the David Tattoo You've Got Male Bo Fight Barefoot Pedaler The Shershow Redemption Why Can't You Read Me? Season 2 Blax, Snake, Home Baby Steps Yesandwitch Max: Welcome to Chicago! Now here's a fun fact. Mein Coming Out Like Father, Like Gun Penny: Ah, those sweet Chianti-soaked nights, strolling the banks of the Arno, meeting amazing people from all over the Big 10. Your Couples Friends & Neighbors Max: Are you part of the conspiracy? Are you all doing this because you think l'm chubby? My doctor says l retain water like a pregnant woman in a humid climate, which is a real condition. Worst-case scenario you're looking at the chick from Avatar. ![]() The Quicksand Girlfriend Max: Half black's God's Photoshop. ![]() Penny: Rollerblades? Max: Even I think rollerblades are gay. It feels like only yesterday that I was born during the 1984 Olympics, a young Jewess, 26 years ago.īrad: Wow. Waitress: Did we start already or do you really want water? Jane: Just bring me vodka. Season 1 Pilot Jane: Um I'm gonna need vodka in a water glass with ice and I'm gonna be ordering water from you all night long so. 3.22 Deuce Babylove 2: Electric Babydeuce.2.21 Four Weddings and a Funeral (Minus Three Weddings and One Funeral).2.10 The Shrink, The Dare, Her Date And Her Brother.
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